My Bloody Valentine

Ever since Divine took a big bite of dog shit in Pink Flamingos in 1972—and yes, it was real dog shit—subversive filmmaking has been playing catch up. Director John Waters, patron saint of "good bad taste," as he calls it, has been the de facto smirking leader of the genre ever since, making movies that are as instantly recognizable as his pencil-thin moustache. With his latest creation, Waters aims to do just that. A Date With John Waters, out February 6 on New Line Records, is a compilation of what the Prince of Puke considers to be timeless love songs—ballads like "Johnny Are You Queer" by Josie Cotton and "I'd Love to Take Orders From You" by Mildred Bailey. Radar caught up with Mr. Waters to see what romantic advice he might have for us.

Any pointers?

JOHN WATERS: Now Valentine's Day, the only thing I ever used to do was send a gift-wrapped chicken heart from a butcher to people I was in love with.

I mean, I mail it overnight delivery—I don't mail it fourth-class book rate. I'm not sure if it's riskier since 9/11 to send animal parts to people as a token of your love.

What's your idea of a perfect date?
Are John Waters movies good date movies?
I've met couples whose first date was one of my movies and they've gotten married. They have matching Divine tattoos. I always find a movie date awkward, because afterward you have to think of something to say about the film.
Well all dating is ludicrous. Right, because often, the date movie is just a means to an end, really.
You wouldn't put on Irreversible as a first-date movie. "Honey, let's build a fire and listen to the Irreversible soundtrack."

Well, I think the only really subversive movie I've ever made was Hairspray, because it tricked families into going into John Waters World.

Sobbing! I've seen whole families sobbing.

Before or afterward?
Sobbing with happiness. Oh, times have changed.

But your movies remain disturbing. I'm always surprised when I'm shocked by your movies because it's hard to be shocked by anything anymore.
The only thing in it that time has affected is that today all lesbians buy children. Back then, lesbians buying children was shocking, and today they have more children than Catholics.