The bottom line is that the sexy guy usually gets laid before the funny guy does. The same lesson applies for women: who is usually perceived as hotter? Angelina Jolie or Amy Poehler? Cheri Oteri or Scarlett Johansson?
The funniest people in the room are not always the most successful ones in dating. Professional comedians for example are not just “funny.” They are performers and their humor is part of their job. Sometimes comedians are associated with a high-maintenance relationship. Sometimes high profile comedians are associated with riches and celebrity. Of course, without fame and fortune you’re just a funny guy. So here’s the secret to being funny and sexy.
Balancing Funny with Sexy
What does a person mean when he or she says that you’re “funny?” It’s not actually a critique of your comedic talent or writing ability. All funny means in dating is that (A) you are capable laughing, (B) you can laugh at yourself, (C) you enjoy laughing, and (D) you are not afraid to take a big chance and go for laughs.
What is truly “sexy” about humor is the fearlessness and the rush of adrenaline we feel when someone makes us laugh. It doesn’t really matter whether you’re Jim Carrey or Carrot Top. Your date is responding to your efforts at humor and your efforts to keep things fun and comfortable.
Your date is not really interested in hearing 60 minutes of stand up material. After a while, your date may actually become uncomfortable if you’re “on” for too long and she starts fake-laughing at all your pre-written jokes. The best funny guys (or girls) are the ones that go for the strategic laugh, followed by the comfort, the silence and the coy glance. There has to be an “off” switch at some point…unless of course your date just wants you to crack jokes while you’re having sex. (And that would be impressive)
Funny Turn Offs
Not all comedians are fun to be around; in fact, some have earned the reputation of being difficult, angry, and generally unpleasant be around. (We’re not given any names!) This lesson should teach you something about dating etiquette. It’s not polite to be “funny” when you are:
Insulting other people
Insulting your date
Putting yourself down
Joking about serious subject matter
“Dying”
Yes, your date will really dislike you if you start “dying” (or in showbiz talk, that means telling jokes that no one laughs at) right in front of them. That’s the problem with doing rehearsed material when you’re on a date. You’re trying to tell a joke without really getting your date’s sense of humor. Part of the process of being naturally funny is discovering what your date likes to laugh at. From that point, you can tailor your sense of humor to his/her preferences.
It’s also a risk to joke about anything too serious or to consistently put yourself down. If you keep insulting yourself for a laugh, eventually you will sell your “sucky-ness” to your date, and he/she won’t be so thrilled to have you.
Our advice is to use your sense of humor like a weapon. Show that you have it, use it whenever you sense that you can get an easy laugh, and then put it away when things get more “interesting.” Remember this—nobody ever falls in love with a funny “character.” They marry “the real you.” That’s what you really want to shine.
About the Author: This was a Guest Post by Lior who is an online consultant and adviser to Top 10 Best Dating Sites.
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