Dating is always a complicated game, but even more so when you are a single parent looking for romance. It might seem like yesterday that you were struggling with pregnancy signs and symptoms like morning sickness, but dating as a single mother is a whole other struggle! What is the best way to land a great guy when you are a mother, and how do you find time to go on dates at all? And how and when should you introduce your date to your child(ren)?Do be upfront about the fact that you are a mother when you go on dates, but think carefully before introducing a date to your kids. It might even help to set yourself a specific time frame. Wait for at least three months of dating, for example, until your kids meet your date. It might sound like a terrible cliche, but that is because it is true – you hardly want to create lifelong memories for your children of meeting a different “step dad” every weekend!
When you are a mom, you make the dating rules! You get to decide when you go out, and how often, and at what time you’re going to be home. Single mothers’ lack of flexibility might seem like an obstacle when it comes to dating, but this can actually turn out to be an enormous advantage. You will be able to “weed out” the guys that are not sensitive to your needs at record speeds.
As a parent, you do not merely choose a partner for yourself; you also choose someone who will be part of your children’s lives. You have every right to have high expectations of anyone you meet – in fact, it’s your duty! If someone you are dating does not meet your demands, isn’t it better to find out about that sooner rather than later? Talking about your children is not the non-parent equivalent of bringing up the use of an ovulation calendar on your first date. It has to be clear that any future partner will get a package deal, and not just one woman.
Last but not least, dating is totally normal and should be fun! Many single parents feel guilty about dating, but there is no need for that. No matter how much you love your kids, it is perfectly fine to want and need adult company and a nice night out. Don’t spend your whole date wondering how your child is doing with the baby sitter – enjoy it!
If you are someone who genuinely hates dating, we have only one suggestion for you... don’t do it! You don’t have to date to meet a great partner for life. You could meet him at work, in the supermarket, or anywhere else. And if you love being a single parent and don’t want to be partnered up at all, don’t feel pressured into dating anyway!
About the Author: Tania is a R.N., personal trainer and nutritionist, passionate about topics related to the female body, pregnancy signs, and birth. A new addition to her site is personalized and free Ovulation Calendar.
