Thursday, June 16, 2011

Why Online Dating Works … Sometimes

The latest statistic is that only in 1 in 10 online daters will meet and date someone for over a month. At the same time, almost everyone knows someone these days who has met their spouse on Match, eHarmony, PlentyofFish or a number of other online dating sites. The success stories of deeply in love couples who go on to get married, have children and live out their lives happily together, inspire online dating hopefuls everywhere. Online dating really can work, but it can also turn into a big fail for many individuals and interestingly the difference lies largely in the attitudes of online daters according to experts.

Why Online Dating Works?
In a nutshell online dating works, because it creates opportunities to meet someone, when those opportunities would previously have not existed prior to the digital era. You increase your odds of finding someone special, particularly if you’re the type of person who doesn’t frequent the party or social scene. You also meet people that have similar interests; there is at minimum a little common ground to begin a relationship.

Why Online Dating does not work?
Experts in online dating and relationships say that the main reason online dating does not work is because dating sites cannot account for the chemistry factor. Experts say an immeasurable factor of chemistry or physical attraction is a huge part of successful relationships. The saying “opposites attract” stems from this, as happily married couples of many years can seemingly have very little in common, yet there is an obvious, strong and lasting chemistry between the pair. There is simply no way to tell if that spark will be present upon meeting by looking at someone’s online profile. 

What Online Daters Should Expect
Online dating sites that claim to “scientifically” match you with your soul mate through a series of well-pointed questions are claiming the impossible. There is no way these sites can measure the chemistry between two people. However, many online daters sign up for these sites, hand over their credit card information and are sorely disappointed. These daters expect to quickly find their soul mate through the “science” of online dating sites. Unfortunately, this “science” is almost entirely based on marketing and sales agenda. Disappointed users, go on dates with those they’ve been “scientifically” matched with only to find that they don’t care for the person at all! Experts say this is due to the intangible, immeasurable factor of chemistry between two people.

What are Online Daters to do?
The experts recommend that online daters go into the world of online dating with the understanding that the dates they set up online will be very similar to a blind date set up by mutual friends. Friends setting up friends often match two people together because they both like the arts or they are both in finance, etc. Much like how online dating sites match people based on similar interests. However, just as mutual friends have no idea whether or not two people will “hit it off” or if there will be a real spark between a pair, neither do online dating sites. The “science” online dating sites use cannot account for the chemistry factor – which is critical according to relationship experts.
 
About the Author : Jessica Drew is a freelance writer and editor who blogs about a variety of dating, moneymaking and finance topics such as private student loans

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