Wanted a Fair Skinned Bride

We often see matrimonial ads looking for fair skinned bride. In the marriage market fair skinned brides are of great demand and if the girl is a little dark then it is difficult for getting a groom. Recently there was a report of a dark skinned girl been tortured and thrown out by the in-laws barely days after her marriage with their son because of her dark skin. If the girl is dark then she is a constant worry to her parents especially in India. The grooms parents also seem to keep more demands in terms of dowry if the girl is dark skinned and the parents of the bride also meet these demands because of fear of society and making the girl sit at home even after marriageable age. Even dark skinned guys only seem to want to get married to fair skinned girls. What is more, dark-skinned girls are often discriminated not only by society but also at their own homes. It is a pity that we Indians call ourselves a united country but openly discriminate based on caste, language, sex, colour, creed, place of origin and anything else we can think of. While I do not support evils of the society like domestic violence and dowry I also think one should stop discriminating based on skin colour. 

When will our notion that Fair is beautiful-dark is ugly end? When will the obsession for fair skin end? Does light skin always mean beautiful skin?  Will their ever be any value to the beauty of the mind or character? Unfortunately the marriage market is not the only place where a dark skinned faces a problem. Dark skinned girls also seem to face problems in getting jobs. Fortunately, some how some dusky complexion girls have made a mark in the film, television and fashion industry giving a ray of hope for other girls who are not fair skinned. The television advertisements also promote the concept that ‘fair is beautiful’. That’s why you see advertisements daily on television or other Medias about various skin beauty products like face creams, lotions or soaps claiming to make one fair in 14 days or even 7 days by exploiting the mentality of society that one has to be fair skinned to be beautiful. Many spend a substantial part of their earnings on fairness products and treatments. However, not everyone can be Michael Jackson to do high cost treatments. Dark skinned girls are under tremendous pressure to succumb to the fair and beautiful complex which may often lead to depression, inferiority complex, low esteem and mental disorders. We also recently had Television Shows like ‘Bidaai’ which is the story of two sisters (one fair skinned and the other dark skinned) on Star Plus which showed the discrimination based on skin.

While the external beauty also matters to some extent, I think, the real beauty is what is within and how you feel about yourself. There is a saying ‘If you feel that you are beautiful, you are’. There is nothing to be ashamed because you are dark but be proud of what you are and your inner qualities.

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How to have Healthy Facial Skin 
 

Bride Burning and Martial Rape in India

Domestic Violence against Women is nothing new in India. Though the modern women have proved themselves to be equals with men in all fields they too fall victims of domestic violence. There is no day we do not see cases of abuse and violence against women irrespective of their caste, culture or education. 

One of the most common crimes against women in India is torturing the brides for dowry. Women are tortured because of not bringing dowry or over dissatisfaction on dowry. For the groom and his family the dowry is easy money they can demand from the bride’s family. Many parents give dowry thinking that it would give a better life to their daughter but most of the times the greedy in laws and groom torture the bride and force her to ask more money from her already burdened parents. When the demands are not met many brides are even burned alive or beaten to death by the in laws and husband. In short, the girl has to bring money, satisfy the sexual demands of her husband, work like an unpaid servant at her husband’s house, bear him children and suffer the harassment she is subjected to by her husband and the family. Don’t you think it is the bride’s parents who should demand the dowry? Let us say ‘No’ to dowry and report when ever we see someone taking or demanding dowry.

Another common reason why women are tortured is because of not giving birth to a male child and bearing a girl child instead. It is sad that even educated and cultured males torture their wives or force her to abort because she is not carrying a male child. Some fools even do not know that the gender of the child does not depend on the female alone. If every individual think that they do not want a female child will the world exist? In India a girl child is said to be Lakshmi who is the goddess of wealth but treated like the slipper on the feet. Let us be proud of girl children and give them the right parenting and education so that they can stand on their own.

Martial Rape is another common form of harassment against women. Just because you are married do you have to submit to all the whims and fancies of your husband even when you do not want it? 

Some other reasons why women are beaten is because of the habit of alcoholism of their husbands, infertility etc. Women are also seen beaten by their husbands for arguing, neglecting children, going out of home without telling the partner, not cooking properly or on time, indulging in extra marital affairs, not looking after in-laws etc.

What ever the reasons are Domestic Violence is a serious Crime. Whenever we see a case of Domestic Violence let us make sure that and the culprits should not escape the hands of law. If this has happened to our neighbor today it can happen to us tomorrow.

Domestic Violence against Women in India

There is not even a single day when we do not hear or read about Domestic violence against women. Be it the cruelty of husbands and in laws for dowry or burning the brides irrespective of culture or background women in India are becoming victims of this crime. If we thought that the economic backward or uneducated are those who fall victims to this crime it is not so. The submissive quality in women in India and the general mindset of the society that women are physically and emotionally weaker than the males makes them vulnerable to domestic violence. It is said that in India there is a crime against women in every three minutes.

Who is responsible for domestic violence? The answer is all of us. For us unless it happens to us or someone who is close to us incidents of domestic violence are just news or entertainment. Many of us even when we see or hear such instances even in our neighborhood do not interfere or do anything to stop them. I have already written in this blog about a friend who committed suicide because of the cruelty of her husband and in-laws. Though majority of the people in the nearby flats were aware of this none opened their mouths to ensure that the culprit got punished. Their getting involved would have meant enmity with the neighbor and frequent visits to police or courtrooms which they did not want to happen. If everybody behaves like this and shields the criminals how is this crime going to stop? What is even more annoying is the fact that most victims also prefer to keep silence and do not report such instances. I have personally seen women taking beatings from their husbands without even a word of resistance. For an Indian woman husband has the place of God. How can we expect domestic violence to stop continuing in India when women are still reluctant to report domestic violence to the police and suffer as if it is their duty to their husbands?

What exactly is domestic violence? It is the violence happening within the home towards a family member and can be physical, sexual or emotional in nature. However, domestic violence against women is the most common of all. What we need to understand is if this has happened to a neighbor’s daughter today it can happen with someone close to us tomorrow. As Women need to empower themselves through education and achieve economic independence and freedom. We also need to stop suffering in silence and fight for our rights when someone does wrong to us. If we women do not stand up for ourselves who will? We need to change to see the world change.

Related Link

Laws against Domestic Violence and Abuse in India