“Should I stay in my Marriage or Opt out?” is one question I have been asked several times. I think that is a Question they have to ask themselves and not me. No matter what anyone has to say on the subject one has to weigh the pros and cons of the relationship and then make a decision on whether they need to save their marriage or they would want to get a Divorce.
Many couples who took their time in choosing their partner and getting into marriage unfortunately do not put much effort to salvage a relationship when it gets sour. Instead they choose the cowards way out and decide that Divorce is the answer for their martial problems even when it is possible to fix the problems between couples. Also many tend to overlook their own mistakes and point fingers at their partners. I have always been a firm believer of ‘what you give is what you get’ principle and that is not wrong too. If someone is behaving to us in a particular manner then most likely we are responsible for that. So before pointing fingers at your spouse first think what you are doing wrong and fix it. Maybe that could help you to save your Marriage. Think of what you would lose or gain if you stick on to the marriage before making the decision to opt out.
You have invested a lot on your marriage, so do not give up without an attempt to salvage it by understanding what is wrong and then fixing it.
If your Partner is in need of help to get rid of addictions or abusive behavior get him help.
Consider those who would be affected by your Divorce like your Children and Parents.
Communicate with your Partner because many times we can’t see what we are doing wrong. Also talk about your dreams and expectations from the relationship.
Try changing things you are doing wrong and being a better partner.
Love can move mountains. Send some unconditional love your partner’s way.
Spend time with your Spouse and make your spouse know that you value the relationship.
Do not ignore the warning signs that may affect your marriage negatively. Try to fix them without delay.
Show your partner that you love him/her and genuinely care for the relationship to run smoothly.
Appreciate your partner when they do something good.
Even Sexless Marriages can survive. But never reach a stage when you are not touching each other. If not sex at least keep the touch on.
Remember, your happiness depends on you. It is a state of mind you have to develop. Do not depend too much on your spouse to make you happy or meet your needs. Find ways to do it yourself.
Do not let Relationship Boredom creep into your Marriage.
Before giving up your Marriage completely visit a Marriage Councilor for help to salvage your Marriage.
And finally after giving some time and energy to make your Marriage work ask yourself “Would you be happy with him/her or without them in your life”
Are you going to save your marriage and stop your Divorce or opt out of the relationship? Now you know what you need to do and where you need to go.
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