Reasons why many Marriages fail

Nobody wants a failed marriage. But it takes the effort of both the partners to make a marriage a happy and successful one. There can be a lot of reasons why a marriage may fail. Some reasons which lead to the failure of a Marriage are given below.

Unrealistic Expectations

Lack of Trust

Martial Boredom

Inability to handle Responsibilities

Lack of Intimacy or Sexless Marriage

Being an obsessive spouse

Martial Infidelity

Being abusive

Depending on the Spouse for everything

Involving ‘others’ in your fights

Interference of others in couple’s life

Not taking care of looks or making yourself attractive to your spouse after marriage

Lack of Communication or understanding with Spouse

Prioritizing other things or other people

Inability to get rid of your past relationship

Attitude Problems
Forced relationships 
Failure to cope during hard times

Money Issues

Spending too much time apart from each other

Criticizing and nagging your Partner too much

Not consulting your significant other about major decisions

The above listed are only a few reasons and there are many more reasons why a marriage may fail. The reasons may vary from couple to couple but if efforts are put to identify the root cause leading to the rift and fix it there are chances one may be able to save your marriage from heading towards divorce.

Should I stay in my Marriage or Opt out?

“Should I stay in my Marriage or Opt out?” is one question I have been asked several times. I think that is a Question they have to ask themselves and not me. No matter what anyone has to say on the subject one has to weigh the pros and cons of the relationship and then make a decision on whether they need to save their marriage or they would want to get a Divorce.

Many couples who took their time in choosing their partner and getting into marriage unfortunately do not put much effort to salvage a relationship when it gets sour. Instead they choose the cowards way out and decide that Divorce is the answer for their martial problems even when it is possible to fix the problems between couples. Also many tend to overlook their own mistakes and point fingers at their partners. I have always been a firm believer of ‘what you give is what you get’ principle and that is not wrong too. If someone is behaving to us in a particular manner then most likely we are responsible for that. So before pointing fingers at your spouse first think what you are doing wrong and fix it. Maybe that could help you to save your Marriage. Think of what you would lose or gain if you stick on to the marriage before making the decision to opt out.

You have invested a lot on your marriage, so do not give up without an attempt to salvage it by understanding what is wrong and then fixing it.

If your Partner is in need of help to get rid of addictions or abusive behavior get him help.

Consider those who would be affected by your Divorce like your Children and Parents.

Communicate with your Partner because many times we can’t see what we are doing wrong. Also talk about your dreams and expectations from the relationship.

Try changing things you are doing wrong and being a better partner.

Love can move mountains. Send some unconditional love your partner’s way.

Spend time with your Spouse and make your spouse know that you value the relationship.

Do not ignore the warning signs that may affect your marriage negatively. Try to fix them without delay.

Show your partner that you love him/her and genuinely care for the relationship to run smoothly.

Appreciate your partner when they do something good.

Even Sexless Marriages can survive. But never reach a stage when you are not touching each other. If not sex at least keep the touch on.

Remember, your happiness depends on you. It is a state of mind you have to develop. Do not depend too much on your spouse to make you happy or meet your needs. Find ways to do it yourself.

Do not let Relationship Boredom creep into your Marriage.

Before giving up your Marriage completely visit a Marriage Councilor for help to salvage your Marriage.

And finally after giving some time and energy to make your Marriage work ask yourself “Would you be happy with him/her or without them in your life”

Are you going to save your marriage and stop your Divorce or opt out of the relationship? Now you know what you need to do and where you need to go.

Related Article Links

Is it worth staying in an unhappy Marriage

Stop your Divorce and Save your Marriage

Why do people opt for Divorce

Signs that you have fallen out of love

Staying unhappy in Marriage but saying no to Divorce

Life definitely is not a bed of roses for all. We see so many couples who stay glued to their marriages because of reasons like kids, financial security, guilt, loneliness, society etc even if they are unhappy and miserable in their  relationships. Sometimes one or both of the couples in troubled marriages spend their entire lifetime trying to make the relationship work thinking some miracle will happen and things would change. I agree that you should Stop your Divorce and Save your Marriage but when things cannot be mended it is better to cut the losses and break off. Living an unhappy life for staying married is just not worth it.

While writing on this topic I can’t help remembering a college friend of mine whose husband used to beat her every single day for some reason or other and even though she knew that she had made a mistake marrying the guy against the parent’s wishes suffered everything for several years and hoping that things would change. But she hoped in vain and her husband who was a Muslim even married again. She used to get beaten up for reasons like talking to neighbors and for not asking her parents money to finance his needs. He found fault with her on everything she does and used to beat her black and blue and she suffered silently because by running away with this guy she had already given pain to her parents and did not want to cause them more pain by telling them that she was unhappy and miserable. After she gave birth to a girl child things became even worse for her and finally when she could not take it anymore she found her relief in suicide. By the time her parents came to know about how the guy was treating her through the letter she posted with the help of a neighbor it was too late to do anything. Though her parents approached the court of law based on the evidence they did not get the justice they deserved.

Sometimes couples in troubled marriages who have taken their time in getting into the marriage contract and promised to live together for lifelong are not very patient in fixing the problems and saving the marriage. The fact is that in a marriage you do not go to bed one night with a good one and wake up the next morning with a failed one. When problems between the couples are ignored for a long time and not sorted out it is only natural that the relationship would turn miserable. Rescuing your relationship and resuming your love life is not an easy task to do but not a difficult one either if you know what the problem is, work on fixing the problem and then get back to old times. It takes both the efforts of partners to make a relationship work. If either or one of the partners fails to do his or her part it may lead to an unhappy marriage. Most problems can be sorted out between the couple by communicating or by visiting a marriage councilor together and take advice on how to save the marriage. If your marriage is worth saving why not do everything in your power to save it but without wasting too much time.

Some years back a Billboard proclaiming "Life's short. Get a Divorce" by a Chicago Divorce Lawyers Firm caused enough of an uproar and criticism from all over. However, I see nothing wrong in that. Divorce may not be the answer to marriage problems. But when there is no hope of salvaging the relationship I guess one should count their losses and move forward in life. Whatever the reasons are I don’t think it is worth staying in a troubled and miserable marriage. After all, life is short to be wasted unhappy. What do you say?

 Related Article Links

Is it worth staying in an Unhappy Marriage

Stop your Divorce and Save your Marriage 

Why do people Opt for Divorce

How to know that a Marriage is in trouble 

How to Improve your Marriage and avoid Relationship Boredom