Staying in Marriage for better or Worse

You do not go to bed one night with a happy marriage and then wake up in the morning with an unhappy one. Things reached there gradually because you ignored the warning signs of relationships trouble or did not give it much importance. Even after the relationship has turned sour many couples still stay in their marriages. It would not be wrong to say that there are many who stay glued to their Marriages because for them marriage is a life time commitment and they are married for better or worse.

If that is not the reason for staying in a miserable marriage it can be

For the sake of Children

For financial security

For Society, Family or Religion

Legal Obligations

Low self esteem

Not want to be like the divorced parents

Not wanting to be single again

…… and more

Many of these reasons make women to stay in their marriages even if they are miserable or have a sexless marriage. However, it is possible to salvage a relationship and save a marriage if efforts are put to understand what is wrong and try to fix the same.

Related Links

Stop your Divorce and Save your Marriage

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Signs of an Unhappy Marriage

Reasons for getting a Divorce

Staying unhappy in Marriage but saying no to Divorce

Life definitely is not a bed of roses for all. We see so many couples who stay glued to their marriages because of reasons like kids, financial security, guilt, loneliness, society etc even if they are unhappy and miserable in their  relationships. Sometimes one or both of the couples in troubled marriages spend their entire lifetime trying to make the relationship work thinking some miracle will happen and things would change. I agree that you should Stop your Divorce and Save your Marriage but when things cannot be mended it is better to cut the losses and break off. Living an unhappy life for staying married is just not worth it.

While writing on this topic I can’t help remembering a college friend of mine whose husband used to beat her every single day for some reason or other and even though she knew that she had made a mistake marrying the guy against the parent’s wishes suffered everything for several years and hoping that things would change. But she hoped in vain and her husband who was a Muslim even married again. She used to get beaten up for reasons like talking to neighbors and for not asking her parents money to finance his needs. He found fault with her on everything she does and used to beat her black and blue and she suffered silently because by running away with this guy she had already given pain to her parents and did not want to cause them more pain by telling them that she was unhappy and miserable. After she gave birth to a girl child things became even worse for her and finally when she could not take it anymore she found her relief in suicide. By the time her parents came to know about how the guy was treating her through the letter she posted with the help of a neighbor it was too late to do anything. Though her parents approached the court of law based on the evidence they did not get the justice they deserved.

Sometimes couples in troubled marriages who have taken their time in getting into the marriage contract and promised to live together for lifelong are not very patient in fixing the problems and saving the marriage. The fact is that in a marriage you do not go to bed one night with a good one and wake up the next morning with a failed one. When problems between the couples are ignored for a long time and not sorted out it is only natural that the relationship would turn miserable. Rescuing your relationship and resuming your love life is not an easy task to do but not a difficult one either if you know what the problem is, work on fixing the problem and then get back to old times. It takes both the efforts of partners to make a relationship work. If either or one of the partners fails to do his or her part it may lead to an unhappy marriage. Most problems can be sorted out between the couple by communicating or by visiting a marriage councilor together and take advice on how to save the marriage. If your marriage is worth saving why not do everything in your power to save it but without wasting too much time.

Some years back a Billboard proclaiming "Life's short. Get a Divorce" by a Chicago Divorce Lawyers Firm caused enough of an uproar and criticism from all over. However, I see nothing wrong in that. Divorce may not be the answer to marriage problems. But when there is no hope of salvaging the relationship I guess one should count their losses and move forward in life. Whatever the reasons are I don’t think it is worth staying in a troubled and miserable marriage. After all, life is short to be wasted unhappy. What do you say?

 Related Article Links

Is it worth staying in an Unhappy Marriage

Stop your Divorce and Save your Marriage 

Why do people Opt for Divorce

How to know that a Marriage is in trouble 

How to Improve your Marriage and avoid Relationship Boredom

Improving Marriage by avoiding Relationships Boredom

Many Couples tend to ignore the relationship or take it for granted once the initial excitement is over resulting in boredom creeping in and couples falling apart. Boredom in Marriage can be a killer in the relationship and can even result in marital infidelity or divorce. If you really want to keep the relationship intact you need to conquer this boredom and save your relationship. After some time of marriage men and women tend to be less interested about their own appearance or intimacy with partner. This is because your priorities have shifted to work, the kids, money or something else.

If your marriage is turning sour and you do not want your partner to leave you one thing you should do is act before it is too late. Look for way ways to rediscover your feelings and bond with each other by introducing new dating ideas and spicing up the sex life. Adding romance to your relationship can help your marriage survive. Never reach the point where you are not touching each other. Also put in efforts to make yourself attractive and stay healthy.

Break away from being predictable and add a surprise element to the relationship. This reminds me of a friend’s father who takes his wife out to the restaurant nearby for dinner on their wedding anniversary. My friend and I thought that he would do something different on their 25^th anniversary. But nothing of that sort happened. Similarly one of my friends husband always gives her money whenever he has to give her a gift. Though my friend has no complaints about this and buys whatever she wants with the money I am sure she would have appreciated if her husband took the time out and personally picked up something for her. An unplanned date or an unexpected gift can be a sweet surprise for your spouse.

Sometimes being too possessive or clingy about the partner can spoil things between couples. Every individual needs space and by giving that to your partner you are also taking the time to miss each other’s company.  

Communication is very important for a healthy relationship. Keep the communication open. Be a good listener. It would help your partner to confide things to you.  Also by knowing your partners strengths fears and anxieties you gain a better understanding of your spouse and can be of assistance when they need your support. Make sure you and your partner sit down and talk on a daily basis even if it is for a 5 minutes. If you have had a disagreement or quarrel make sure you resolve things soon.

These are small things but can definitely help in building a better relationship and improving marriage. But remember, Relationships are a two way street and it takes the effort of both the partners to make it work well.

Related Article Links

Boredom in Relationships

Reasons for Infidelity in Relationships

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