How should a Woman deal with a cheating Spouse

Infidelity from a spouse is can be hurting and painful to handle. If reports have to be believed more than half of the marriages in the world have some infidelity going on at some point in the relationship and over 60% of the divorces or breakups are due to cheating. So if you are in a relationship it is difficult to be not affected by the infidelity of a partner. A cheating spouse or partner has always remained a hot topic on magazines, news, TV serials and movies. Remember the popularity it got for tiger woods. Many times the media makes it feel like cheating is a norm and very much in fashion and nothing is wrong with it. But the people who have faced the infidelity of a partner know that it is not that easy to wipe away the hurt and get over it. It is also not easy to forgive the person completely as if nothing happened and re-establish the trust in the relationship.

There are so many marriages affected by marital infidelity. Many times just suspicions can ruin a relationship because many couple does not have an idea how to deal with a cheating spouse and do things wrong making things worse between them. The number one rule if you think that your partner is cheating is to confirm your suspicions and not confront your partner without sufficient proof. There can many signs that your spouse is cheating and look for a combination of several signs and gather as much proof as you can before confronting the partner about it.

For many women, the way to deal with a cheating spouse is by keeping silence and behaving as if nothing happened and everything is right in the relationship. It is okay to be forgiving to your partner but just because you close your eyes it does not become night. Just because you pretend that nothing happened does not change the fact that your spouse cheated on you. You have to face the fact one day or the other. It is observed that many times forgiving spouse adultery only makes him or her to continue doing it because they take it for granted that you would forgive them. Also many times spouse adultery come back to haunting again when you have fights or arguments after all you are human and could not completely forgive the person who cause you hurt and want to cause him hurt too. Some women even go to the extent of cheating back on the spouse too to take out their frustration and anger. But what they forget is that every time they do so they are hurting themselves too.

So what is next? Are you going the end of your marriage by walking away or asking for a divorce because your spouse had an affair? It is a pity that many people who take time to start and build a relationship do not put many efforts in saving a marriage. In my opinion, if a relationship is worth saving then all efforts have to be put to save it and also ensure that the infidelity is not repeated. Whatever the reasons to stay in an unhappy marriage or forgive your partners infidelity maybe if you cannot forgive your partner completely and deal with your anger, hurt and frustration it is difficult to make a success of your marriage. Communicate with your partner and understand the real reasons why he was tempted to cheat on you and if you are in any way responsible for it by behavior make amends and improve yourself. If both of you want to put the cheating behind and save your marriage, work together on building it. In fact, a marriage needs more nourishment and care after cheating to make it work and regain the trust.

This is my Article Published on EzineArticles.
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Anamika_S

Wrong ways of Dealing with a Cheating Spouse

Infidelity by a spouse is an extremely painful issue. There are so many Marriages affected by a marital infidelity. Many times marriages which can be saved are ruined by dealing with the issue wrongly. So, how to you deal with a cheating spouse? There are several ways women deal with the issue, including some wrong ways. The one rule if you think that your partner is cheating is to confirm that your suspicions are indeed true and not to confront your partner without sufficient proof. If there is no sufficient proof wait till you gather enough proof. If you confront your partner without proper proof and just on the basis of your suspicion, remember that you also stand a chance to lose your partner because of that.

Here are some wrong ways to deal with spouse infidelity.

Some women attack the spouse verbally with screams and accusations and let the neighbors and all the sundry know about it.

Some women turn a blind eye even when they know that the husband is cheating. Just because you ignore the issue and behave as if all is right in your relationship, the fact that your spouse has cheated do not change. You have to face the issue at one point or the other.

Some women feel so hurt and frustrated that they indulge in self damaging by hurting or torturing themselves because they feel worthless or their ego hurt because of their partners cheating. Some even go into conditions like depression. They may feel angry, humiliated, betrayed that they sob their heart out.

Some women just go to extremes by choosing to walk out or go for divorce when they find that their partner has cheated on them. You may have reasons to do so because once trust is broken it is difficult to re-build it again but I also think that the man deserves a second chance to make things right.

Some women forgive their partner but even when there is a minor fight they bring back the issue of marital infidelity because they could not forgive the guy for what he did from heart.

Some women get into a revenge mode where they even go to the extent of sleeping with strangers. That is what a friend of mine did when she discovered that her husband was cheating on her with his secretary. My friend is what anyone would call a perfect wife and I was shocked to know that her husband would cause her hurt by sleeping with his secretary. On her anger and frustration she went and slept with a complete stranger before confronting the husband with proof that she knows that he cheated on her… The couple is still together and the marital infidelity is behind them and my friend still keeps her ‘dirty little secret’. I am in no way justifying what she did is right because just because your partner cheated on you , it is not necessary for you to stoop to that level too. If my friend was lucky another acquaintance of mine was not as lucky. When she confessed to her husband that she cheated on him too because she felt guilty later, her husband left her. No matter how a man behaves, it is noticed that when it comes to spouse infidelity a man may not be as forgiving as a women. So, how do you deal with infidelity? Pick the right moment to tell your spouse that you know about his cheating and ask for an explanation. If he is willing to change and promises never to do it again there is nothing wrong in giving him a second chance to prove his love and loyalty to you. If there is a chance to stop the divorce and save your marriage then you should try your level best to do so.

Improving Marriage by avoiding Relationships Boredom

Many Couples tend to ignore the relationship or take it for granted once the initial excitement is over resulting in boredom creeping in and couples falling apart. Boredom in Marriage can be a killer in the relationship and can even result in marital infidelity or divorce. If you really want to keep the relationship intact you need to conquer this boredom and save your relationship. After some time of marriage men and women tend to be less interested about their own appearance or intimacy with partner. This is because your priorities have shifted to work, the kids, money or something else.

If your marriage is turning sour and you do not want your partner to leave you one thing you should do is act before it is too late. Look for way ways to rediscover your feelings and bond with each other by introducing new dating ideas and spicing up the sex life. Adding romance to your relationship can help your marriage survive. Never reach the point where you are not touching each other. Also put in efforts to make yourself attractive and stay healthy.

Break away from being predictable and add a surprise element to the relationship. This reminds me of a friend’s father who takes his wife out to the restaurant nearby for dinner on their wedding anniversary. My friend and I thought that he would do something different on their 25^th anniversary. But nothing of that sort happened. Similarly one of my friends husband always gives her money whenever he has to give her a gift. Though my friend has no complaints about this and buys whatever she wants with the money I am sure she would have appreciated if her husband took the time out and personally picked up something for her. An unplanned date or an unexpected gift can be a sweet surprise for your spouse.

Sometimes being too possessive or clingy about the partner can spoil things between couples. Every individual needs space and by giving that to your partner you are also taking the time to miss each other’s company.  

Communication is very important for a healthy relationship. Keep the communication open. Be a good listener. It would help your partner to confide things to you.  Also by knowing your partners strengths fears and anxieties you gain a better understanding of your spouse and can be of assistance when they need your support. Make sure you and your partner sit down and talk on a daily basis even if it is for a 5 minutes. If you have had a disagreement or quarrel make sure you resolve things soon.

These are small things but can definitely help in building a better relationship and improving marriage. But remember, Relationships are a two way street and it takes the effort of both the partners to make it work well.

Related Article Links

Boredom in Relationships

Reasons for Infidelity in Relationships

Feng shui for Romance