Why some Men do not want to get married

A friend of mine was in a relationship with her boyfriend for the past 4 years and was hopeful that one day they would get married. They have been good friends and had great sex but whenever she discussed about marriage he always avoided the topic saying that everything is great the way it is and why spoil things by getting married. In fact I have never met this guy in person though I have been in constant touch with my friend all these years. After reading one of my articles titled Why Should Girls Not Sleep Around she called me and asked if she could speak to me. Then she said it all. She told me that she feels that she had made a mistake of giving her virginity to a guy who was not ready to commit. She told that even though they were sexually active and meet every weekend they rarely went to places where his or her friends would frequent. One time when they accidentally bumped into his friend and girlfriend he introduced her as his good friend. Last year she also went to his parent’s 30^th wedding anniversary party at his parent’s place where she was treated like any of his other friends. She told him that she wanted to get married but her boyfriend just did not want to get married. When she pressurized he dumped her and she ended up with a broken heart.

I am sure that my friend’s boyfriend is not the only one who is scared of commitment. Many men are okay with the idea of dating women but when it comes to commitment they back off. Some men are afraid to commit while some just do not want to commit. What can be some reasons why men keep away from commitment or marriage?

His Parents or close relatives have failed marriages and he is scared that his own marriage would end up a failure.

He is not financially stable and cannot afford the expenses that come along with the marriage.

He is scared of losing his freedom and independence. He is happy with his single status. He does not want to shoulder responsibilities that come along with Marriage including that of children.

He is not willing to put the time and money required to build a good marriage. He is happy in a ‘no ties’ relationship.

He is afraid of losing control or power by getting married.

He is scared of even the thought of being accountable to someone.

He is afraid that he may lose space by accepting another person in life and the chances that she may dominate him.

One sex partner forever scares him to death.

He has some goals in life he want to achieve like a sisters marriage or promotion in job or anything of that kind and does not want marriage coming between his goals.

He gets everything he wants from you even without commitment.

Maybe he is already committed but was with you just for fun.

Maybe he never loved you and was with you only for sex.

This list can go on......

While I sympathize with my friend for what happened to her I also feel angry as to why she did not recognize the signs that this guy was just not meant for her and the fact that he was only using her. I would have been happy if she was the one who dumped him. If you have to coerce a man to commit to you or acknowledge you in public you are definitely with the wrong man and you are better off without him.