You love him, both of you have the same feelings. You like to be with him and feel comfortable to chat with him, and he also feels the same way. You like to tease and make some jokes with him. You always try to come up with the best fashion when having lunch with him, or hang out together at coffee shop. You often send messages to him just to ask what he is doing now.
‘But the problem is, he is not your husband’, and your husband doesn’t know about this man, whether he is your ex-boyfriend in college, facebook friend, or your colleague at the office. Everything starts from unpredictable meeting and warm chat as a friend, and finally it continue to be an affair.
Even though you are not physically involved with this man, but you have emotionally involved with him. Make no mistake, emotional relationship could be long lasting rather than physical relationships. According to Peggy Vuaghan, the author of Monogamy Myth, the emotional affair is a form where you have an emotional relationship with the opposite sex that you hide his existence from your couple.
Affair is a form of betrayal against someone even without sex involvement. Affair occurs when there is physical and emotional relationship between two persons, and there are times and attentions are given to the opposite sex who is not your spouse. But what makes it a problem, there’s no sexual involvement in it?
A marriage will be tarnished by a third person. Most people are able to recover from emotional affair, but a lie that you have done to your couple won’t be forgotten. Maybe your husband can forgive you, but certainly he will still remember your lies. Can you imagine what it would be if a marriage without trust?
On the other hand, you will ruin the friendship because you do many things together with him rather than with your other friends.
The temptation to call this ‘other man’ is also big, because some social networking sites will allow you to track him down. When you imagine your ex-boyfriend, you can simply find him through virtual world. You can click on facebook, twitter, or Friendster. Relationship through virtual world will be faster, more intense, and easier.
According to Jessica Leroy, the founder and director of the Center for Psychology for Women, people who are emotionally involved in affair often don’t feel guilty to their spouse. It understandably, because there is no physical or sexual relationship between those two persons, so they consider it as an ordinary friendship.
So is it the end of your marriage? Probably it’s not. But if you have created a strong emotional connection with another person, with or without sex, your spouse will be hurt. The Settlement will be more difficult when the relationship grows further.
So what is the solution? Step back slowly, don’t be too close to him just like before, you don’t need to answer all of his sms, email, or phone call. You should realize that you can’t have intense relationship with him because you have already had spouse. The deeper your have emotional relationship with him, the more difficult for you to stay away from him, so you should end it immediately.
So always keep your mind under ur control....Keep rocking...!
Regards,
Sriram Mallik
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