Is Marriage Toxic for Women?

Many are saying that marriage is toxic to the modern woman. Due to that general idea, many people are beginning to live together rather than marry. Elizabeth Gilbert, an author, claims that her research shows that marriage causes women to be less successful, less healthy, more depressed and more likely to die a violent death. She calls it the “Marriage Benefit Imbalance,” because men, on the other hand, benefit both physically and mentally from being married. This comes from the argument that women are not valued, like men, for their work inside the home. Men are valued for their paid work outside the home. Even Gilbert, however, ends up getting married. The “marriage Benefit Imbalance” idea was first introduced by Jessie Bernard in 1982 in The Future of Marriage. Did this book create a myth, or is it the truth? We know for sure that she thought marriage was great for men, awful for women.

Women are taking things into their own hands in response. Living together instead of marriage is one option women are choosing. Developing their “outside” careers is another. Promoting their own independence in terms of future planning and current finances. Women today are going so far as to have children via sperm donation or adoption in order to avoid the complications of  romantic relationships. All of this leads to “needing” marriage less.

Many women, however, still want to be married. They are, in general, waiting for an older age to marry. True, abusive marriages are wrong – but they are not the rule. True, many single women have wonderfully fulfilling lives. Is marriage a bad thing? Not if you know what you are getting when you marry. You need to know what marriage will and won’t do. You need to know, as a couple, what marriage will be like. What are the expectations in terms of housework, children, religion, and money? Both parties need to communicate what they want, and what they think they’re getting. If there are differences they must be worked through prior to the marriage. Getting married thinking “we’ll work it out later,” or “I can change his or her mind later,” just won’t fly. That is a recipe for disaster. A great idea would be premarital counseling to work through the issues. If you can’t agree on the issues, don’t get married.

Is marriage toxic for women? Possibly. It’s possible that it’s merely toxic for those who don’t prepare with their potential spouse properly.

This is a Guest Post from Sarah Harris. She is the Marketing Manager at Adiamor Engagement Rings. Adiamor offers a large selection of engagement ring settings, affinity diamonds and other fine diamond jewelry at affordable prices.